For our first piece of writing this year we all brainstormed about our first day in Room 20. Here are some of our impressions of our new class.
First Day of School, By Nadia Lee
It's the first day of school and I was positive that nothing is going to make this special day dull. The air was damp and moist and the sky grey, but my insides were sunny and bright...
The moment I stepped out of the car, the cold wind sailed past me, making me shiver. I quickly raced to the foyer. I tasted the familiar crisp air and smelt the smell of clean uniforms. I took a deep breath and started down the stairs.
I reached the Tio block, last year known as the 'Fireflies' community. I stared at it. It seems to give me an encouraging smile, despite the cold. I felt a familiar rush of warmth and excitement just like the day I stepped into Pohutukawa Bay last year.
Slowly walking into Room 20, a comforting smell of new ink, the blinding bursts of colour and the sound of pencils scratching on paper.
My excitement was contagious!
Room 20- By Daniel Wood
As I walked in to the room my heart was a time bomb. Boom, boom ... it stopped!
I slowly got tired, but bang! "Good morning class", Mrs Millett said with excitement.
It was like a sea of blue because of all 29 uniforms. I felt happy and excited.
Room 13 is a fantastic group of Year 5/6 learners at UHPS led by Mrs Millett. Please leave a comment!
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Nadia we like your writing. In particular your use of vocabulary, personification and crafting your structure to make it interesting for the reader. You must have really thought about your experience before you started writing. Your description was very detailed.
ReplyDeleteDaniel your use of language features is great! We loved the metaphor of the ticking time bomb and the use of onomatopoeia. Great hook too. Your pace was clever as well.
ReplyDeleteWow Nadia and Daniel, what great writing! I'm glad to see that you are still an amazing writer Nadia even though you had a long summer holiday. Keep it up both of you. I look forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteGreat storytelling skills! You have a very good teacher. :)
ReplyDeletegreat writing guys great starts to the story
ReplyDeleteHArrison